Once Upon a Duke
by JadedPhoenixBurning
Summary: Follow along as the Dukes must muddle their way through ancient fairytales while trying to understand the world of magic. Will they find their way home after being trapped within a strange book? Along the way, meet characters that may or may not help them return to Hazzard. Will they make it home or will they be doomed to stay trapped inside the stories themselves forever?
1. The Sorcerer

**_Once upon a Duke_**

_This is written for the Dukes Crossover challenge posted on a forum. __Please feel free to review this story. This story is fanciful and will take the Dukes on a journey of magic. I hope you enjoy._

Deep in the swampland just outside of Hazzard a Sorcerer looked around the stone structure that was his home that he'd long ago built when he had first come to this country. He had grown weary of his ancestral home in the old country and had come to the New World in search of new souls to sustain him. True, he was forced to move every few years in an effort to keep others from noticing that he never grew old, though after all of these years he had his routine down pat. He had homes all over the country but he preferred this old structure since it reminded him of his childhood home.

Lifting his ancient book that aided him in his search, the Sorcerer began to peruse the aged tome and noticed that several of the souls that he had been using to help sustain him have aged to the point that they could no longer be of any use to him. He must replace them and do so soon if he was to survive. He had lived for well over five centuries now and he didn't intend to allow a thing like a few human souls stand in the way of him living another five hundred years. All he had to do was think of a place to find them. But where?

Where should he go in search of these souls? They must be someone whom the law would not go out their way in looking for once they were gone. Usually he would look for the lowest of the low of society; those who were constantly in jail for one infraction or another. When they disappeared there was very rarely anyone that would search for them for more than a few days; if that. He also had learned long ago to do his hunting far from home. He had always feared discovery if he wasn't careful. Today, however, the evil Sorcerer realized that he had a limited time to find replacements for his book. He must find new prey fast.

Smiling, the Sorcerer made up his mind to go to the local town to see just who the local bandits that the law could never get rid of were. He'd just have to move on to his next home a bit sooner than he planned. A small price to pay for the souls that he would gain by going to this town that the locals called Hazzard.

/

Boss Hogg sat at his desk ranting and raving about the latest plan that the Dukes had foiled. They had cost him three grand this time. What did he have to do to get those pesky nephews of his old friend, Jesse Duke, out of what little hair he still had? Boss took a cigar out of his drawer and lit it while contemplating all of the various plots, schemes and plans that those two Duke Boys had ruined over the years. If he had all of the money that they had cost him since they had first learned to poke their noses into his life he would be a much richer man than he was right now. If only there was some way get them out of the way for just a little while, Boss could take full advantage of even a measly twenty-four hours.

"DUKES, DUKES, DUKES! What I wouldn't do to get rid of them boys for just a little while!" Boss groused as he puffed on his cigar.

"If you are sure about that, I think that I can help you with these men that seem to have you so upset."

Boss sputtered as he looked up to see a strange man dressed in a dark suit standing inside his office. What he couldn't understand was that he never heard the door to the room open or close back once the man had entered his office.

"What are you doin' here in my office? Who are you?"

"I'm here in your office to offer my services," the Sorcerer said with an easy smile. "My name is Roger Lawson."

Boss looked up at his visitor with suspicion, "And just what are your services?"

"I remove trouble makers from their environment," Lawson stated simply.

"And just how do you do that?" Sure Boss wanted the Dukes out of his hair but that didn't mean that he wanted any real harm to come to them.

"That is of no real importance to you," Lawson locked eyes with the portly commissioner. As he did so J.D.'s concerns faded to the back of his mind. "Now, why don't you tell me about these Dukes that are such a bane of your existence?"

Boss shook his head as he suddenly felt a little light-headed but it soon passed. He then told the strange man all about the Duke Family and of the trouble that they had caused him over the years. By the time Boss finished he was once again fuming at the money that he'd lost just in the last scheme alone.

"It sounds as if your life would truly benefit from their absence," Roger smiled as he leaned over the desk, re-enforcing the bond that he had formed with the man.

"Well, yes...But I wouldn't ever want to see nothin' bad to happen to them." Despite the trance-like state that he'd fallen into, the primary rule that he'd lived by still shone through even stronger than his distaste for the Dukes' meddling. He never stood for any violence. He may be a liar, a cheat and a swindler but he would never hurt anyone; even for all of the money in the world.

"Oh, they won't be harmed," Lawson stated as he sneered. "Now, the details are not for you to worry about. Just see to it that they are given this book." Roger pulled his large ancient book out of his briefcase that Boss could have been certain that he hadn't had when he'd first walked in.

"A book? What can a book do to-"

"Precisely," the Sorcerer's eyes flashed. "What harm can a mere book do?" After just a moment's pause to let that thought sink in he continued, "I want you to have this book delivered to these Dukes but whatever you do, DON'T open it. Just leave it for them; in a gift box perhaps."

"Don't open it. Right," Boss said mechanically.

"Now, I must be off. I still have much to do while I'm in town. Once the book is out of your possession you will not recall this meeting. Is that understood?"

"Yes," Boss nodded stiffly. After the man left his office Boss looked down at where Lawson had placed the book and found it within a fancy gift box. Briefly he had the thought that a book that old looked odd in such a fancy box but called for Rosco to come to his office without lingering on it.

"Yeh, Boss?"

"Rosco, I want you to run this out to the Duke Farm," Boss hefted the large box up and shoved it into Rosco's waiting arms.

"The Duke Farm? Now Boss, since when did you send gifts to them good for nothin' Dukes?" Rosco asked in confusion. Hadn't it only been a short while ago that he'd left his little fat buddy in here practically weeping over his bum-business deal that fell through all because of the Duke Boys?

"You don't worry about that!" Boss snapped. "You just take it on out there and leave for them to find it. Just DON'T open it! Do you understand me you Pea-Brain?"

"Gjit! Of course I understand. What do you think I am? A moron?" Rosco sniffed in indignation.

"Well now that you mention it..." Boss muttered. "Well what are you waiting for? Go on!"

"I'm goin'. I'm goin'," Rosco backed out of the office as he grumbled about having to make the delivery of the present for the Dukes. Rosco hopped into his police car and reached over and to scratch his beloved dog's ears before starting the car up. "Alright, Flash Darlin'. Time to buckle up for safety. We're heading out to the Duke Farm for Boss, though I still can't understand why."

Flash gave a woof as she nosed the safety-strap and wound herself up in the seatbelt. She listened patiently to her master as he grumbled about the fat man that told him what to do. Soon enough they pulled up at the farm belonging to the nice family known as the Dukes and Flash watched as Rosco got out of the car and noted that none of the three vehicles that could usually be found out front were anywhere around.

Seeing that no one was home Rosco went to lay the gift box on the front porch and turned to leave. Halfway down the steps, however, his curiosity got the better of him. He just couldn't take it any longer. Rosco turned back up the steps and sat on the top step as he opened the fancy box that couldn't have come from any of the stores around Hazzard. When he did so he found that the box only contained a large book.

"What would Boss be doin' sendin' the Dukes a book?" Rosco asked himself as he flipped it open and saw pictures of what looked like a troll in a fairytale. Holding the book up, Rosco called out to his basset hound, "Lookey, Flash Darlin'; it's a book of fairytales."

Flash woofed her response but then sniffed the air as she smelled something that didn't seem right. Now barking hysterical she began to call to her master.

"Flash? What's the matter?" Rosco asked just before a bright light seemed to be emitted from the book itself. "Gjit! What in the world?" Rosco dropped the book back into his box and got up to run away from it but never made it off of the porch. He was enveloped in the light and quickly disappeared.

Flash jumped out of the open door of the police cruiser and ran over to where she had seen her human disappear. Sniffing around the book that she had seen light up, though it seemed to be completely normal now, Flash began to howl for Rosco. A long and mournful howl that could be heard for miles around.


	2. Gathering the players of the game

Luke had been riding around the country-side with his cousin, Bo, behind the wheel of their orange racecar that he and the family affectionately named, "The General Lee". The two men had been mending fences all over the county this morning; repairing the damage that they had caused with the help of the local Sheriff yesterday evening. Once they were done they had spent the rest of the day grumbling about the extra work and venting to one another until they had finally put the event behind them. Eventually they once more found themselves picking with one another with an ease that spoke of a bond that had lasted so far for a life-time.

Finally, it was time for the two men to return home to attend to the afternoon chores. When they pulled up in front of the old family farmhouse that had been in the family for generations (and showed its age), Bo nearly threw the car in reverse upon seeing the Sheriff's car waiting for them.

"Now what? What do you think ole Rosco is up to this time? We ain't even been to town today," Bo scowled as he parked the racecar.

"Only one way to find out," Luke sighed as he climbed up into the windowsill. "Come on, Bo. But be ready to run if we have to."

"One of these days, just once, I'd love to see Rosco get the short end of the same stick that he's been coming after us with for years," Bo grumbled as he followed his older cousin's lead.

The two got out of their car and walked around toward the Sheriff's car and noticed that the driver's side door was standing wide-open. Luke shook his head figuring that Rosco must have gotten out in a real hurry or he had hoped to sneak up on the Dukes by not slamming his car door shut.

Woof! Bo looked up toward the porch where he saw Flash sitting up on the top step. Upon seeing the two Dukes she waddled as fast as she could to the men while whimpering the whole way.

"Flash," Bo gingerly picked the portly dog up and scratched behind her ears. "What are you doin' out here all by yourself? Where's Rosco?"

Flash wiggled to be let down so Bo set her back on the ground. When he did so Flash led the boys back to the porch and started to bark at the book that was sitting in a gift box at the top step. She barked and growled at the book with all her might; trying in her own way to tell the Dukes what had happened to the Sheriff.

"Bo, have you ever known Flash to be so worked up before?" Luke asked as he approached the dog intrigued by the book that seemed to have captured the canine's attention.

"Only around Boss," Bo snickered. "She never has taken a cotton to him."

"I wonder if this book has anything to do with what's got her dander up?" Luke took a seat next to the dog and lifted the book out of the box that it had been resting in.

"I don't see how. I think I'll go in and see if Rosco's inside." Bo then headed on in through the screen door and left Luke with Flash and the old book that she had been standing guard over when they had pulled up outside.

"Let's see…" Luke looked the old and strange looking book and ran his hand over the cover. "How did this thing get here and why would someone leave it here?" Flash continued to bark at the book while slowly backing away from both Luke and the book on the porch. "Calm down, Flash. It's just a book."

Luke then moved to open the book only to have it knocked to the ground. Flash had rammed the book and had sent it flying off of the porch. She then continued to bark and growl at the book that she had witnessed Rosco disappear into.

"Hey, Luke! I can't find Rosco anywhere inside," Bo hollered as he stepped back into the main room as he headed back outside. "You don't suppose he's out in the barn, do ya?"

"I can't think of a reason why but I suppose that we ought to check." Luke then stood and left the book where it lie while he and Bo went to tend to the afternoon chores. Once they were finished Luke headed over to the CB inside the house and asked Enos if he knew of any reason why the Sheriff had gone out to the farm.

_"Not that I can think of,"_ Enos said over the CB. _"In fact, I ain't seen him since this morning."_

"Well, his car is out here and Flash was sittin' all by her lonesome on the front porch when Bo and I came home a while back." Luke looked up and saw Bo carrying the strange book and the box that it had come in. He set the box down on the kitchen table and started to examine the book as Luke spoke with the Deputy. "In fact, the only thing to keep her company was this really old book that was left on the porch before we got out here."

_"A book? Well, I don't really see how that can have anything to do with the Sheriff bein' missin' but I'll come out with Cletus to take a look around and I'll get Flash while I'm out there. The poor thing must be worried somethin' awful without Rosco around."_

Luke acknowledged the Deputy as he saw his female cousin coming into the kitchen. He noted that it hadn't taken Daisy long to wonder what was going on around the farm. Luke and Bo then took turns explaining to her all that they knew; which in this case wasn't much.

"The only thing that I do know is that Flash seems to be all wound up over this book," Luke gestured to the tattered book that Bo had set on the table after Daisy had come in while he'd been on the CB with Enos. "She even jumped and knocked the blame thing out of my hands when I went to open it to see what kind of book it is."

"That don't sound like Flash," Daisy bent down to pet the nervous basset hound. "It's too bad that she couldn't just talk and tell us what happened to poor old Rosco."

"Well since she ain't likely to suddenly start tellin' us what she knows the only clue we have is this here book," Luke pointed out as Bo reached over and picked the aforementioned book and opened it up.

"Looks like it ain't nothin' but a book of fairytales," Bo chuckled. "Look, its Jack and the Beanstalk. I remember readin' this one growin' up."

On the floor, Flash yelped and ran from the kitchen and hid behind the wall that separated it from the living room. She then cowered while peeking around corner.

"What in the world? Flash! What's gotten into you?" Daisy asked as Flash could be heard growling in their direction.

"That's how she reacted earlier. Bo, how about puttin' the book down for…"

Luke never had the chance to finish his sentence. A blinding light began to emit from the mysterious book. When the glow faded the book was on the floor, marking where Bo had been standing only moments before, and no Duke could be found. Once more, Flash was left behind after witnessing the humans in her life vanish into thin air. Quivering, Flash went and hid under the couch in the living room. There was no two ways about it; Flash knew that the book should not be opened again. Only bad things could happen when it was.

/

Deputy Enos Straight pulled his police cruiser up with Deputy Cletus Hogg in tow just as Jesse Duke's old beat up old pickup truck parked just outside of the old Duke home place. The two Deputies got out of the cruiser and greeted the Duke patriarch of the family, both with easy smiles since they each truly did like each of the Dukes; even if their duty did force them to play the role of their adversaries from time to time.

Jesse had heard his nephew and Enos discuss the missing Sheriff over the CB while he'd been driving home from Capital City after doing some shopping for the staples for the home. After the greetings were out of the way he led the two lawmen inside. Once in the kitchen, Jesse called out to his niece and nephews only to get no reply; causing Jesse to be concerned since they had been expecting Enos. Jesse couldn't figure just where his kids could have gone or why. Both the racecar and Daisy's Jeep were sitting out front alongside of Rosco's patrol car yet there was not a sign of any living soul out at the farm. Well, aside from the Rosco's loyal basset hound that is.

"Hey ya there, Flash," Enos knelt down beside the unusually timid dog that had been on the Hazzard Police Force nearly as long as he had been. "You wouldn't happen to know where the Sheriff is would ya?"

Flash wagged her tail as she nuzzled the kind deputy. Meanwhile, Cletus spied the abandoned book on the kitchen floor so he walked over and picked it up. He gave it a quick glance over before tucking it under his arm and walked back over to the other two men as they discussed just where the missing Sheriff and three Dukes could be.

"This must be the book that Luke mentioned being left on the front porch," Cletus said as he held the book out for Jesse and Enos to see his find. When he did so Flash back up sharply away from Enos and started to whimper at the sight of the book. "Now that's strange."

Both Jesse and Enos agreed as they watched the usually laid back dog eye the dog warily.

"I don't think I've ever seen Rosco's dog behave that way," Jesse scratched his head as he observed Flash's reaction to the book. "Cletus, let me see that thing."

"Sure thing, Unc-Mister Duke," Cletus corrected himself as he handed the old book to the eldest Duke. "Do ya thing that the book has something to do with why Rosco came out here?"

"Don't know; could be," Jesse said simply as he walked over to his favorite chair in the living room and sat down with the cumbersome book in his lap. "But I'd like to know just what is so important about this blamed thing that someone had to leave it on my front steps."

Flash watched as the oldest of the humans started to get comfortable and began to open the book. Knowing what would happen if he did so, Flash moved over toward the old recliner where Jesse was sitting and commenced a fresh round of barking as she tried to warn him about the book.

"Flash, Darlin'. Don't be barkin' like that at Uncle Jesse," Enos tried to calm the pup. "I sure wish Flash could just tell us what's buggin' her. It would make figurin' out what's goin' on a lot easier."

"Well, since she can't I suppose that we're just goin' to have to take a look at this here bo-"

Jesse was cut short as Flash reached up and bit the book and tore it out of his lap. She then awkwardly dragged it away from the three men while she growled the whole time. Flash had already watched four people disappear into the weird text, she didn't want to watch three more do so as well.

"Flash, calm down," Enos said while trying to coax Flash back to him while confused about her strange behavior. "Bring me back the book."

"What's gotten into that dern fool?" Jesse leaned forward in his chair as he prepared to stand back up from his chair.

Flash used her mouth and flipped the book behind her then faced the three men once more while whining out her warning to stay back. What no one paid attention to was that when she tossed the book it had fallen open when it landed behind the basset hound.

"Come on, Flash. Ain't no one goin' to hurt ya none," Cletus had never seen the Sheriff's dog behave like this. Not even around Boss Hogg. Briefly he wondered if the dog could have caught some sort of sickness to make her behave in such a manner. After all, hadn't there been a rabid coon found out near the swamp last week? He watched the dog growl and bark and was about to try to work up the courage to approach Flash once more only to stop when he saw a strange light begin to emanate from the book that was resting on the floor behind her. "Uh…Fellas. Am I the only one that sees that light?"

Flash sniffed the air and turned and saw that the book was opened and yelped just as she was pulled into the book in the same manner that she had watched Rosco and the Duke Cousins pulled in earlier. When the book promptly closed itself behind the dog, it then once more began to glow and abruptly vanished from sight. Leaving a very confused trio behind in its wake.

/

Back in the Sorcerer's layer, he looked up when his book returned itself to its place on his bookshelf. Smiling, Lawson knew that he'd just captured his fifth soul. Now he could go on for years without having to search for any more to help sustain his lengthy life. Now it was time to pack up and head to his alternate home when he was not living in Hazzard. At least until those that might search for the missing have given up on their friends and family. For now, however, it was important that he not stick around during the search.


	3. The Woodsman and the Wolf

Luke groaned as he opened his eyes while he was temporarily disoriented. Feeling the hard ground beneath him, he could tell that he was lying somewhere outside; this left him confused since the last thing he could remember was being in the kitchen with both of his cousins. Luke could remember looking around the farm for Rosco but not finding him anywhere. Only Flash had been waiting for him and the others when they had gotten out to the farm.

After waiting for the world to stop spinning, Luke carefully rolled onto his side so he could take a look around him. Around him lay an eerie looking forest that didn't look familiar. And he knew all of the woods around Hazzard. Wondering how Luke could be in his own kitchen in one moment only to awaken in this strange and unknown place, he carefully stood and tried to get his bearings. It was getting dark which meant that he must have been unconscious for several hours. In the nearest tree stump Luke spied an axe that had been left behind by whom ever had last been by this spot within the woods. Luke determined that the axe hadn't been left abandoned for long since he saw no evidence of rust or weathering on the cutting tool.

Luke had no sooner than gotten on his feet when he began to hear off in the distance a woman screaming at the top of her lungs. Without even thinking Luke snatched up the nearby axe and started to run as fast as he could in the direction of the screams. As he ran he noticed the woods that he was in began to thin and he could spy a small cabin up ahead. The screaming was coming from inside and to Luke it sounded as if all hell was breaking loose within cabin. When Luke finally got to the source of the distress he raced to the door with the axe still in hand and burst through the door of the cabin.

Once inside he found an odd sight indeed. There was a young woman with a red cloak cowering under a bed in the middle of the room as a large beast, wearing what appeared to be an old nightgown, tried to pull her out from her sanctuary. The animal resembled a cross between a wolf and a large ugly man; a werewolf, perhaps? But werewolves were a thing of fiction weren't they?

Luke didn't have much time to process the fleeting thoughts that came to mind as he walked into the room. The wolf-like creature turned as he realized that there was an intruder in the cabin and turned to face him. The large beast stood on its rear legs much in the same way that a man would and once he'd reached his full height towered over Luke by nearly two feet. The creature snarled with drool dripping from the sharp teeth and lunged toward him which caused Luke to jump backwards out of the wolf-beast's reach.

Luke tightened his grip on the axe and, after the beast's claws came dangerously close to causing some very real damage, began to use it as a weapon against the larger than life nightmare. Luke swung the axe back and forth to try to drive the wolf back and was shocked when the beast reached out and grabbed the handle of the axe and ripped it from his grasp. Once it had a hold on the axe he slung it across the room; causing the blade to lodge in the wooden wall of the cabin. Luke's jaw dropped as he looked at the furry beast warily. When he saw it begin to lung forward once more Luke jumped out of the way and barely evaded the long hairy arms that attempted to reach out to him.

Luke now found himself in a very odd and dangerous fight for his own life as the werewolf-like monster lumbered after him as he barely was able to stay one step ahead of him in his flight around the rustic room. Finally, Luke made his way over to where the axe had been lodged into the wall and he began to try to yank the blade back out of the log cabin's walls. Turning back, Luke saw that the creature had once more decided to go after easier prey. It was trying to lift the heavy wooden bed frame to reach the young maiden that was cowering underneath.

Luke wrenched the axe from its hold in the wall and spun toward the monster just as it had finally flipped the bed up to reveal the frightened young woman with nowhere else to hide. With axe in hand, Luke raced over to defend the stranger intent on not allowing harm to come to her. Raising the axe, Luke brought it down with all of his might just as the monster wrapped a hairy paw around the thin wrist of the frightened woman.

At the first landing of the axe, the wolf howled and turned back to face Luke with a sneer and growl. Baring its teeth, the monster leapt in Luke's direction which caused him to quickly use the axe to defend himself. Luke brought the blade down on beast repeatedly as it continued to stalk him across the room. Luke was beginning to feel that no matter how many times he struck the being that it was unstoppable. Luke's muscles in his arms began to burn as he fought the thing off with all of his might. Finally, it stopped moving which allowed Luke to breathe a sigh of relief.

Luke's chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath after fighting with the unusual monster. Looking down at himself he saw how he was splattered in the creature's blood. It was then that he noticed that he was no longer wearing his usual plaid shirt or blue jeans. Instead he was wearing clothes that he'd never seen before, though they seemed comfortable enough. Much like what any other man that spent his time in the woods might wear from over a hundred years ago.

"It's about time. You sure took your sweet time gettin' here," a voice came from the direction of the young woman that had been the object of the creature's ire.

"Excuse me?" Luke turned to face the woman in amazement. Here he had just saved the woman's life and she was complaining that he hadn't done so fast enough.

"Most of the time the Woodsman kills the wolf a lot faster than you did." The southern belle rubbed her wrist that had been grabbed by the wolf and noticed that a bruise was forming.

"You mean there are more of those things? And what do you mean by MOST of the time the Woodsman kills them faster?" Luke questioned the woman as he leaned down to help her to her feet. "What's goin' on around here?"

"You mean you don't know? You opened the book didn't you?"

"Book? What would opening a book have to do with wakin' up and findin' that monster here?" Luke turned to indicate toward the wolf on the floor only to see it beginning to fade in a magical glow until it was gone. "Hey, where'd it go?"

"You mean you REALLY don't know?"

"Would you mind fillin' me in since you seem to have all of the answers, Miss? The last I remember my cousins and I were all in the kitchen after lookin' for the local Sheriff and the next thing that I knew I was off in them woods and heard you screamin' for help."

"Well, when you were in your kitchen, one of you opened a book, right?"

Luke frowned as he remembered that Bo had indeed opened the book just before everything went blank. "How did you know and why would that matter?"

"That's how you're pulled in. The book was cursed by a Sorcerer and he uses it to trap people in here."

"But why?" Luke asked as he tried to understand just what the mysterious woman was telling him.

"He uses the souls of his victims so that he can live longer. He replaces them as their souls' energy are used up with new victims."

"How long have you been in this book?" Luke asked in curiosity.

"Let's see, it was the spring of eighteen sixty-two. My brother had just joined the Third Georgia Infantry."

"Eighteen sixty-two? That was over a hundred years ago! You've been in this book since THEN?" Luke's mind reeled at the thought of being trapped inside of a story book for over a hundred years.

"More than a hundred? What year is it now?"

"Nineteen eighty-seven," Luke informed the lady while remembering his manners. "By the way, the name's Luke. Luke Duke and you are?"

"Eva, Eva Hindel," Eva gave Luke a slight smile. "So I suppose that since I've been in here for over a hundred years The War is over, huh?"

"Has been for a long time. In fact I suppose I should tell you that-"

"Don't. I don't think I want to know who won. After all of this time I don't think that it really matters. Not in here at least." Eva glanced around the room before continuing, "We should go ahead and leave. The story will repeat itself soon and we shouldn't be here when it does."

"Repeat? The story repeats itself? How often?"

"It depends how often the Sorcerer decides to read through it," Eva replied. "Usually after Lawson finds new characters for his book he likes to watch them for a little while."

"Why is it that you seem to know so much about what's goin' on?" Luke crossed his arms as he stared at the woman suspiciously.

"I…uh… knew Mr. Lawson from around town." Eva avoided Luke's gaze as she spoke. "Shortly after I refused to keep company with him I received a book by way of a messenger. It was a book of fairy tales which I once adored. I thought that it was perhaps a gesture of good will to show that he wasn't upset by the rejection. Maybe was even trying to continue to pursue me in a more traditional manner. I can't tell you how surprised I was when I ended up here instead; trapped forever as Red Riding hood."

Luke nodded; she probably was as surprised as he was right now. "Alright, well first things first. I've got to find my cousins and find a way out of here. I don't plan to be stuck in here for the next hundred or so years."

"I'll tell you now that no one has ever found a way out of here," Eva said in despair. After all, she had tried several times herself before resigning to her fate. "As far as your cousins, there were four other characters that have been in this book longer than the last Woodsman and myself. If you follow the book to the end you might be able to find them but I don't see what good that will do you. Together or separate, you will all still be trapped in here."

"I'm not about to just accept that I'm bound to fight that wolf creature over and over for the rest of my life. Somehow, someway, I'm gettin' out of here." Luke said determinedly. "Would you care to come along? Surely you're tired of livin' like this."

"And go where? I don't belong out there no more," Eva pointed out. "Not that I believe that you'll actually make it mind you but if you do, I want you to promise to burn this book!"

"Burn the book? But won't that kill the rest of you that are trapped in here?"

"Exactly! It'll be the only way that this nightmare will end for the rest of us trapped in these children's stories." Eva took one of Luke's hands and forced him to look at her in the eyes. "Promise that if you find a way out that you'll do it. If you promise then I share a rumor that just might interest you."

Luke saw the sincerity in Eva's eyes and he knew that if he'd been trapped in here for over a century then he might would grasp at any amount of relief as well; even if it only came in the form of death, a real death and not one that was generated by a story that would only be reversed once the story was started over again. Slowly Luke bobbed his head.

"Alright, I promise. Once I get out of here I'll put all of this to an end once and for all."

Eva head Luke's gaze for a moment longer before accepting his vow. "There is a rumor that if one can complete the final story then there is a whirlwind past a bridge that leads to the outside. If you go there, if there's a way out of here at all it will be there."

"If you think that you could get out by going to the last story then why haven't you?"

"I tried once, but there's a troll there and I just couldn't force myself to face it." Eva admitted. "But if you and your cousins want out of here that would be where I'd suggest that you go."

"Alright, how do I get there?" Luke couldn't wait to get out of this strange place where fairy tales and nightmares seemed to merge as one.

"I'll take you to where you can reach the next story. From there you'll be on your own."

Eva raised the hood of her cloak, snatched up her basket of snacks and other goodies and led Luke off toward the edge of the woods that had been her prison since she had first come here shortly after the war between the South and the North had begun. Eva then escorted Luke to where the story's page blended over to the next one and bade him goodbye, all the while hoping that she would never see the Woodsman again. Because if she did then it would mean that he had failed to find his way out of the story book.


	4. Bo and the Beanstalk

Luke trudged through to the end of the dark and mysterious woods while thinking over everything that Eva had told him as she took him to the edge of her story's realm. He had a hard time trying to wrap his logical mind around the thought that he could actually be inside a book of fairy tales. Luke had never even contemplated the idea that magic could be anything other than a thing of make-believe. Now he was forced to rethink his whole stance on the subject. Magic or no magic, however, Luke knew that he had to find his cousins because if he had been pulled into this book then that meant that they had been as well.

Before she had gone her own way, Eva had told him of the other characters that had been in the book longer than she had been. If she was right, he'll find his cousins in one of the stories that she had indicated. Luke hoped that she was right; not only about how to find his cousins but the rumor on how to get out of the book as well.

/

Bo shook his head when he realized that he had no choice but to climb the enormous beanstalk ahead of him. When he had shown no interest in doing so the woman that claimed to be_ his mother _actually took the broom to him and practically beat him over the head with it until he finally headed up the tree-like plant.

Reaching up to the next branch Bo was convinced that he must have hit his head somehow. That was it, all of this was just some weird dream and he'll be waking up any minute in his room that he shares with his older cousin. He just had to wait this strange dream out.

Looking off to the side, Bo spied a large bean pod and he figured that string beans just might be off of the menu for a while. Still, Bo kept climbing figuring that there was nothing else to do. He couldn't just hang out here on the stalk until he woke up. Could he?

After what seemed like a lifetime he passed what he could only call a thick layer of solid clouds. Yes, solid clouds. Bo figured that it was all just further proof that he was dreaming because everyone knew that you couldn't reach out and grab a hold of an actual cloud. Eventually Bo found himself above the odd clouds where there seemed be a lush cloudscape that resembled a white meadow.

Off in the distance Bo spotted a strange building up among the clouds that resembled a palace in a fairytale. Jumping down from the large beanstalk, Bo landed on the nearest solid cloud while praying that he wouldn't just fall right through. After all, it was a long way back down to the ground. Timidly, Bo took a step and then another. Nope, it didn't look like he was going to fall through. Shrugging, Bo figured that while he was up here he might as well as head toward the distant castle. Maybe who ever lived there could tell him just what was going on.

Hours later, Bo found himself looking up at the large palace in awe. The place was huge. The door alone had to be about a hundred yards in height! Bo felt like a mouse creeping up to the house and suddenly found himself looking over his shoulder for an equally large house cat that could pounce on him easily.

Nervously, Bo tried to figure out just whether or not he should knock on the heavy door. He never made up his mind since the door opened on its own only to reveal that a lovely, if not freakishly large, woman opened the door.

"Jack! I told you that you really shouldn't come back here!"

"Jack? Who's Jack?" Bo asked in surprise since it seemed as if the woman was expecting him.

"Funny," the giant woman laughed as she reached forward and picked Bo up carefully. "But since you are here you might as well as get a little something to eat before you climb back down the beanstalk."

"Wait a minute-"

"Shush. You don't want him to hear."

"Don't want who to hear?"

"My husband, of course. If he catches you here he'll grind your bones into a fine powder. Now, be quiet and I'll make sure you have enough food to last you until you get back home." So the giant's wife gave him bread and milk.

While Bo was eating (still trying to figure out why he hadn't woken up from this odd dream yet) the giant came home. Bo was once more lifted as he would a small kitten and was put up in the cupboard quickly and was shut up inside it just before a large mountain of a man that was even larger than the woman came bursting through the door to the kitchen.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread!" cried the giant.

"Don't be silly! There is no boy in here!" said his wife.

"I'm not stupid woman! Where is he?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I've just been in here cooking your supper and I haven't seen a soul." The giant's wife set about to putting her husband's food on the table while glancing in the direction of where she had hidden her pint-sized visitor.

"The **BLOODY HELL** you don't! He's been here twice already. First he takes my gold and then he took my hen. Just what does he plan to make away with this time?"

The giant's wife shook her head as she began to steer her husband toward the dining table in an effort to keep him from getting closer to the small cupboard where she had stashed the small hide-a-way in. She knew that the only way to keep the young man safe was to prevent her husband from being able to zero in on his scent.

While the giant ate his dinner Bo leaned up against the cupboard's door and peered through the small crack and watched as the large over-sized man devoured his meal. Bo hung his head while trying to figure out just how he was supposed to get out of the fix that he now found himself in.

/

Luke fell exhausted to his knees as he jumped off of the giant beanstalk onto the cloudscape. He hoped that he hadn't just spent most of the day coming to the wrong story. He was worried about both of his cousins but for some reason he was more concerned about Bo doing something that would likely get him killed than he was about Daisy. If Eva was right about the stories that they could have been sucked into, just how much trouble could his female cousin get herself into locked away in a castle anyway?

Looking up in the distance, Luke saw the home of the giant that lived up among the clouds. Wishing that he had thought to figure out a way to bring some water with him, Luke wearily headed towards it. By the time Luke reached the large stone structure night fall had fallen all around him. From his vantage point above the clouds the stars seemed close enough to reach out and touch.

Luke took only a moment or two to appreciate the night sky before turning his attention to figuring out how to get into the castle without being noticed. Eventually, Luke spotted an open window and reached the conclusion that the only way in was to scale the wall to reach that opening. So for the second time in one evening he subjected his muscles to the strain of yet another climb.

Once he'd finally reached the window ledge Luke was able to take in the sight of a large kitchen setting. One that looked much like he'd expect to find in a fairytale; just one much larger than a man his own size could even hope to use. Standing on the window seal, Luke felt absolutely tiny. Not something that he was used to since, though he was shorter than Bo, he was over six-feet tall. Shaking his head at the absurdity of the fact that he was now in the story of _Jack and the Beanstalk_; Luke leapt off of the window's ledge and landed on a counter in the kitchen. Beside him was a large mixing bowl that had been set out to dry next to the sink.

Luke took a good look around himself before he ventured further away from the bowl and tried to decide just how he was supposed to find his cousin in the huge castle. After straining his ears to try to catch any stray sound, Luke began to quietly call out for his cousin in hushed tones.

He leapt off of the counter as he continued to call for Bo. Uncertain just where he could find his cousin, Luke crept along the wall while keeping an eye out for any sign of his blond cousin. As he made his trek from one end of the kitchen to the other, Luke passed dust bunnies nearly as big as a small dog and even some that would have come up to his waist. He figured that if Daisy or Uncle Jesse had seen the dust it would have sent both of them into orbit. The thought of anyone having such shoddy housekeeping skills wouldn't have set well with either of them.

Nearing the end of the room, Luke looked up at an immense set of cupboards with gigantic sets of china cups being displayed in the large glass panes that were set in the doors. He swore that The General could have fit in one of those blasted cups, they were so huge. Yet one more oddity that this unusual place had to offer.

Getting to the corner, Luke called out one more time for his cousin before he felt the ground begin to shake beneath his feet. Reaching out to steady himself by holding onto the wall, he began to search for any place that he could use to hide since the vibration in the floor could only mean one thing; the giant was on the move and heading his way. Looking around, the only thing that he could find that could hide him was the large over-sized broom so he dove into the bristles that reminded him of trying to get through the corn field while at its peak.

Sneaking a glance out into the room just beyond the large household cleaning tool, Luke spied a man so large that he got a crick in his neck as he tried to take his full height in. He wondered if this was how David felt when he met Goliath. At about right now, he'd give anything for a good slingshot.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread!"

Luke swallowed hard as he slipped back further into the bristles of the broom while wondering where his cousin was at.

"I know that shrimp of a man is here, I don't care what my wife says. I'm not leaving out of here until I've found him," the giant said with a slight sulk. He then took a big sniff and began to turn his head as he sampled the air around him just as a hunting dog would while getting a scent for its quarry. "You might as well as come on out, I can smell you."

Luke swallowed hard as he slipped back further into the bristles of the broom while wondering where his cousin was at.

"I know that shrimp of a man is here, I don't care what my wife says. I'm not leaving out of here until I've found him," the giant said with a slight sulk. He then took a big sniff and began to turn his head as he sampled the air around him just as a hunting dog would while getting a scent for its quarry. "You might as well as come on out, I can smell you."

Luke watched as the giant stalked around the room as he continued to sniff the air about him. The closer the over-sized man got to him the more that he could hear his heart in his chest. With nowhere to go, Luke was caught between the choice of watching and waiting or making a run for it and praying that he could somehow slip past the angry man. Neither option really appealed to him since both were a certain death.

The giant stomped about the room, causing the ground to shake, and slowly made his way toward the oldest Duke Cousin. Luke held on tight to the bristles of the broom as the giant picked it up while looking for the man that he knew was in the area, even if he didn't know where he was exactly. Luke was sure that he was going to fall as the broom was swung wild as the man turned first one way than another while holding the broom. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that a large over-sized glass was suddenly knocked over in the china cabinet, causing the giant to toss down the broom in his haste to see to the fallen crystal, Luke was sure that he'd lose his hold onto his hiding place.

The giant looked the cabinet over searching for the cause of the sudden crash of the glassware but found none. Meanwhile, Luke had slipped away from the broom and had found a place to hide in a crack of the wall. After several moments of fruitless searching, the giant finally left the room since it was time to tend to his livestock while muttering that he'd just have to return and tear the whole place apart if need be until he found the intruder that he just knew was in his kitchen.

Moments after the giant left, Luke was still catching his breath from his close call as he swore that he heard his name from overhead.

"Bo?" Luke poked his head out of the crack that he'd been hiding in and looked up to see Bo waving at him from the top shelf of the china cabinet. "Bo! What are you doin' up there?"

Bo glanced around and started his decent down the various shelves of the cabinet behind the glassed in front until he finally made it to the lowest level before slipping out from behind the door. When he finally made it to the floor, his cousin was there waiting for him while keeping one ear out for the giant. Luke knew that the blond was bound to have a lot of questions about where they were and how they got here but for now he hoped that he could get him heading toward the beanstalk before their company returned. They'd have plenty of time to discuss their predicament while they were making there way back down to solid ground.

"Boy, Luke, you have no idea just how glad I am to see you here. I thought that I was going out of my mind-"

"Bo, you ain't crazy, and yes you really are in the story _Jack and the Beanstalk_. For right now, just don't ask no questions and lets get out of here. I don't want to still be here when Goliath gets back."

Bo gave his cousin a questioning look but didn't have much choice but to follow him as Luke headed off toward the hallway of the castle. Luke didn't see how the two of them were going to be able to climb back up to the counter and then the window before the giant returned so he figured that they'd just have to find some other way to get out of the gargantuan home.

"Luke!" Bo ran to catch up to his cousin, the only person in this place that seemed real to him at all, and turned him to face him while he had to ask, "What do you mean that we're in a fairytale? This has got to just be some weird dream and we just have to figure out how to wake up, right?"

"Bo, I know that it seems impossible, I'm not exactly sure how to explain it to you since I'm still trying to figure it out myself. But like I said, we need to get out of here before your friend gets ba-" Luke was cut off by the vibration of floor that signaled the approach of one of the two inhabitants of the castle in the sky. "Oh no."

Bo joined his cousin's groan before the two took off at full speed down the cavernous hall. He hoped that perhaps it was the giant's wife, figuring that since she seemed so taken with _Jack_ thus willing to help them if nothing else. No such luck.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I see two Englishmen! Though you're alive, you'll soon be dead and I'll grind your bones to make my bread!"

"Great!" Bo sprinted faster as he and his cousin did their best to keep their footing with the ground still shaking beneath them. "Any idea how we're supposed to get out of this?"

"It's been a while since I've read the story," Luke said through gritted teeth. "Let's just get to the beanstalk and hope he doesn't follow us."

Luke knew that it was a slim chance but it was all he and his cousin had at the moment. After running to avoid the giant's grasp several times, the Duke Cousins finally made it to the front door and luckily for them, there was just enough room in the doorframe for them to slip in and slide out to the other side before the giant ever reached the door.

Panting from the exertion, Bo glanced back just as the giant busted through the door. "I don't think that we're goin' to be able to stay ahead of him for very long, Lukas!"

"We'll have to split up! Just keep heading toward the beanstalk! And try to stay hidden in these clouds. As this as they are, hopefully he won't be able to see us very well out here!"

Bo nodded as he veered to the right slightly as his cousin did the same to the left. The giant continued to run in the direction of the beanstalk but came up short when he could no longer see either of his prey.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are. You can only hide but for so long! After all, I know where you're heading," the giant called.

Bo kept running toward the beanstalk and hoped that he and his cousin got there before the other man did. If they didn't, he didn't know how they were going to get out of their current predicament. Of course even if they did, he and Luke were still going to have to climb down the stalk before they could even think of being safe from the giant's wrath. Right frankly, he was already exhausted from his climb up the stalk, then his climb down the china cabinet, and they from the chase with the giant. He wasn't sure just how much more he could take.

Once the stalk was in sight, Bo somehow was able to find more speed and raced toward it and got to it just as his cousin did. In tandem, the two jumped onto the stalk and began their hurried decent as the giant cried out his frustration at his quarry getting away. He was quick to follow the smaller men onto the stalk but found that the stems branching out from the main stalk wouldn't support his large size. The stems collapsed under his feet while the branches slipped through is hands as he slid down the stalk as if it was as slick as a fireman's pole.

As the giant slid past them, both Bo and Luke nearly lost their own grip on the plant as they held on for dear life. It was only once they heard the giant's scream come to an abrupt stop that they realized that he hadn't made it to the bottom of the stalk safely. As the two made their way down the stalk in a slightly more sedate manner than they would have had they still had the giant chasing them, Luke did his best to explain what Eva had told him about the sorcerer as well as the magical book that they now found themselves in. The whole time, Bo gave him a look that clearly told him that he thought that his cousin was suffering from some sort of weird delusion. But then he decided that if Luke was then he must be as well. After all, wasn't he climbing down the same over-sized beanstalk that defied normal human reasoning?

Once Bo's feet finally touched the ground, he couldn't help but sigh at the knowledge that he was once more on solid ground. That sigh was cut short as he noticed that the woman who had claimed to be his mother was rushing up to meet him. And of course, she still had that blasted broom that she'd nearly beat him to death with before he'd gone up the blasted stalk in the first place.

"Jack, you're back. But where is the goose?"


End file.
